Feature by Lis, over at Horse Family Magazine

   A tale of two of the brattiest boys in the Barnyard, Mister Cecil, a Quarter Horse, and Mister Hornpipes, a Pygmy Goat and the pranks they play on this poor farmer one sunny winter day.

 Read more at http://horsefamilymagazine.com/critter-sense-of-humor

Have you read the Epic A "Tail of Two Goaties?

Here are the Blogs in Order:
Thistle and Nettle
Bagpipes Adopts a Kid
Bagpipes and Hornpipes
Hornpipes and Mussette

     When we last left our Goatie Epic, Mister Hornpipes was adopted by that handsome, caring Sheltie Collie, Mister Bagpipes, and terrorizing, I mean living in the house.

     Meanwhile out in the barnyard, on another very cold below zero night, Cecil the Quarter Horse as the barnyard announcer ran ‘round announcing the birth of a new goatie kid, Mussette.
Since the day Hornpipes moved into the house we had moved psycho Nettle into the other pen with a calf, where oddly enough, she settled down. She still didn’t like contact but we could at least be in the pen without her bouncing off the walls. She never bothered the calf and used to sleep next to her. We gave Thistle the other pen to herself and in the wee hours of January 30th, a week after Hornpipes was born, she had a baby; a nanny. To tie into our whole highland band we were getting we went with Mussette, a French version of Bagpipes, for a more “dainty” little lady.

     Mussette looked very much like her mama, only 100 times cuter and she was very bashful. Thistle, thank God, was much more reserved and caring than Nettle. We watched her constantly, but gratefully there was no need. She only had the one kid to care for, and though she still did not like too much contact she did tolerate you being close. Before Nettle had flipped out I had almost had Thistle befriended, but that sort of undid it. She took excellent care of Mussette, but as she got older would be more overprotective of her baby.

     As soon as weather permitted we took Nettle to the auction barn and sold her.  There was no way we were keeping that nut around any longer. We planned as soon as it got warmer late in February, and when the kids would be of a better size, to bring Hornpipes out and put him with Thistle and Mussette. That idea however didn’t take so good. Hornpipes had been living in the house for 31 days and it was the end of February. We tried the three of them together, but Thistle was not cooperative, so we moved her over with the calf and she got visitation and feeding times with Mussette.

     After Hornpipes, the energetic escape artist, and bounced his way onto the couch and up the wall and so forth, we figured he was plenty big and healthy enough to be deported back to the barn. He and Mussette were put in the pen together and we made then hay and straw forts for warmth, that they soon figured out how to maneuver all around and on top of. He at first was real interested in this new toy called a goat. See I guess he thought he was a puppy. She just thought he was incredibly weird, still does, and she had to teach him how to be a goat. Thought she never has quite understood why he wags his tail all the time, especially when he’s eating.
     Dad and Bagpipes, ahem, of course not me, decided that they didn’t want to sell Hornpipes being that they were so fond of the little guy, so we had him wethered as there was no way we were keeping a stinky billy. Yech. He was quite the attraction at the vet’s office. A friend, after hours, helped us out and all the staff took turns coming out to see him. He didn’t have any idea what was going on just relished in all the attention.

     Thistle never quite settled into being real friendly and in the Spring we sold her to another farm that had a lot of goats, where I am sure she was happier. Hornpipes and Mussette have been together ever since. And that’s the tale of two goaties. They both just celebrated their 4th birthdays.

     Milking that old crazy nanny goat was impossible, she was always flighty and now she was just plain crazy. So we had to feed the little guy cow’s milk using a small pop bottle with a very small nipple. 
     He found his voice soon enough and when he was hungry or had to go he’d let us know by screaming. Bagpipes went over to the barrel, budged it so it moved, and Hornpipes quit yelling and listened. Then Bagpipes went to the door, dinged his bell, and we let him outside. See when we first got Bagpipes we got a hunting dog bell and hung it on the door. Dad rang it once and let Bagpipes outside, and from then on he dings his bell to go out.
He was telling Hornpipes, ”Hey kid, when you want out, you just do this.” So we gave him one of Bagpipes’ other bells by tying it to a string and then tying the other end to a dowel rod that sat over the top of the barrel. 
     Hornpipes nosed it and it rang, I picked him up and sat him on the floor. He looked at me, backed up in his tracks, I put down some paper towels and he took care of his business. From then on he was potty trained. From then on too, even though he always went on newspapers or paper towels our house smelled like vinegar because at least nice a day I would mop the whole kitchen floor to disinfect it, just to be on the safe side. 
     Bagpipes helped me feed the kid and let him out, he watched over him, and taught him all the tricks he could. Bagpipes used to eat around his bowl in a circle; one piece at a time; making effort to first pile the pieces together, then pull on back and eat it, while wagging his tail. He taught this to Hornpipes, who, to this day, eats in a circle while wagging his tail. Of course I think Bagpipes picked up some of that goat stuff as he doesn’t make the effort to be so dainty in eating anymore. :0)
     Hornpipes soon grew a bit bigger and more energetic. The cut on his neck abscessed and we put Iodine on it to disinfect and clean it out, until the abscess broke. Then we put Rawleigh’s salve on it to heal; and for a while he sure smelled pungent. It worked and he healed up quickly and nicely, you can’t even tell he had a cut there; unless he decides to shave his beard someday and there is a scar on the skin.
      Hornpipes thought everything about his “Daddy” was fascinating, from his ears all the way to his tail and especially his whiskers. Poor puppy, the goat was coming out in Hornpipes as he tried chewing on his whiskers. Bagpipes even tolerated Hornpipes walking all over him and sniffing in his face. We used to put the baby-gate up and let him run around the kitchen. Sometimes we would stick  a couple of Bagpipe’s toys in with them, but a round bell was always Hornpipes third favorite toy, the first being Bagpipes and the second being his bottle, which he’d like to drag if he could. He grew to have an obsession with his bottle, and with every new calf I am graced with I have to debate with Hornpipes on who gets the bottle. 
     Hornpipes also learned how to zip and unzip coat jackets. It was something to chew on of course, to start with and as his ears had days since turned from droopy lop ears to standing up it made the most interesting sounds. Zipping became a fun pastime, and while it is still funny now, sometimes he can be a pest.
When the little stinker first figured out how to escape the baby-gate and bounce off the walls inside the house we knew it was gonna have to be deportation time soon. Luckily we had another birth in the barnyard….but that’s a ”tail” for another day in Hornpipes and Mussette.

Sometime in the night or early hours Nettle went crazy, as goats and some animals do, and killed the little girl. I saw immediately when I entered the barn on that cold January day the nanny kid lying there, with her neck cocked back. Nettle had caught her under the neck with her horns and broke her neck, possibly throwing her into the wall. When I went in to find the boy he was nowhere to be found. The girl’s body was cold and stiff, which meant it had been at least a few hours even though it was a very cold morning.
I searched all over for the little boy with no luck. Then I pulled my flashlight out and started looking in every nook and cranny. I found him under my saddle that had fallen on the floor. Near as I could figure was Nettle had killed the little girl and tried to kill the boy too. She had picked him up and flipped him in the air, but luckily she accidentally threw him over the gate and he landed in the hay and straw on the ground. He was shivering so, it was quite cold, and we had just had another night where it was -35°F.
My dad wasn’t home from morning milking and chores yet and I couldn’t just leave the poor guy there, so I picked him up and unzipped my coat. We had about 2-3 feet of snow at least everywhere, more in drifts and the wind was a pretty strong, with winter gale-like force. I tucked the kid inside my coat layers, but the only problem was I couldn’t walk with my two canes and carry him at the same time. So I left my canes at the barn and just kinda held my elbow out for balance as I held onto him. He was starting to stop shivering, and was quite warm in my coat, so he had no idea what was going on. There was enough snow on the ground, so when I lost my balance it wasn’t too bad, we didn’t fall over. Luckily Dad had just arrived and was opening the house door. He couldn’t hear me over the wind, so I had to carry junior all the way down there.
I told him all that had happened and we came up with a makeshift plan. We first stuck the little guy in the bathtub and closed the shower doors. We knew that he couldn’t stay out in the barn anywhere, it was too cold; the days were bad enough but the nights were extremely harsh. He would freeze to death on his own. He was too small to be in with the calf and Thistle was due anytime for her babies; and we knew for certain he couldn’t be in with his mother. So he was going to have to stay in the house till warmer weather.
Dad went back to the barn and retrieved this big white barrel we had for corn. It was made of plastic and about 4 ½ feet tall and nearly 3 wide; so plenty of room for a little pocket sized Pygmy Goat Kid. Dad cleaned up the barrel and brought it and my canes back. We stuck the barrel in the kitchen, right next to the register so he could get extra warmth. We also gave him a bath of Baby Soap and a tiny bit of dog shampoo just to make sure he didn’t have lice or anything; since we don’t need them in the house. We also found that he had a huge gash on the underside of his neck where the nanny’s horn had cut him.
Meanwhile Mister Bagpipes, our Sheltie Collie, thought this whole thing was the best thing since sliced roast. I don’t think an oversized “puppy” had ever turned his head so much. (Now granted Bagpipes was 4 at the time, but he’s still our puppy.) He adopted the kid and so we decided on the name Hornpipes; which is an African version of Bagpipe: appropriate as Pygmy’s originate from Africa.
And this is how Bagpipes became a “Daddy” to a little Pygmy Goat Kid, named Hornpipes.

More to come in Bagpipes and Hornpipes